Mom guilt

It was just a regular Friday afternoon, I have picked up Noah from school and asked him if he would like to have a mommy and Noah date. He was all for it…

Few minutes in our mall food court date… he says to me something about new locomotive, I replied “did you see it”, he says yes, with Dad.

I jockeying said “you and your dad, like two peas in a pie”, Noah look at me and said “ya, cause you are always either at work or at the gym” OMG I was in shock… what?!??

Even tho he said that and he wasn’t upset I just couldn’t get those words out of my head.

I started to analyze my day and what have I done to improve our time together and I drove myself crazy.

Being a parent is not easy, it’s rewarding but never easy. My parents always spend time with my brother and I but they also were working, seeing friends and had hobbies.

I started to talk to Noah and explain why I have to work and that the time we do spend together is a quality time.

I want him to grow up to be a man with amazing work ethic and understanding that balance between family and carrier is hard, but it is not impossible.

I love my son very much, I promised him few more minutes of fun when we are home together, there still will be work and gym, but I also listened what he wanted me to notice and I am thankful for him speaking out.

Is there anything you kids say that stays with you? Are you overthinking some of the things? Let me know I would love to talk about that.

Blazer – Lunia Bonder // Turtleneck bodysuit – Wolford // Pants – Dynamite // Shoes – Stuart Weitzman

Till next time, xo


Photos: Fabian Derda


  1. Krzysztof Elzbieta Derda

    kochanie jesteś wspaniała mama i wszystko to co napisałaś jest prawda kochamy Cię chociaż napewno tyle czasu co Ty z Noah nie spędzalismy,no chyba ze na wczasach, nartach.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. pauladerda

      Ummmmm, It’s “your” not “you’re”, the rest I will just leave without comment cause I seriously 😳 don’t even know how to respond to such a fucked up comment. So long bye now.


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