Staying strong

I started to write this blog post about dreaming of silly things, how I miss warm weather, sun and spring layers, but I stopped myself…… because it’s not true. This is not at all what I am thinking or dreaming about.

The truth is I am not in a happy place right now. As many of you know I was paralyzed on my face almost 6 years ago. It’s called Bells Palsy and it happened week before I had Noah. Left side of my face was paralyzed, my lip dropped, my eye wouldn’t close for days, the pain similar to ear infection was unbearable. They couldn’t help me much with meds as I was pregnant. It took me years to recover 90%. I have never got my smile back.

Two weeks ago I got sick and had an ear infection, three days later I was paralyzed again… same thing, same symptoms. This time they were able to get me on proper meds, but there’s no guaranty I will ever fully recover.

I am currently under the care of traditional and non-traditional medical treatments. I will share details of both treatments on the blog, so if you are dealing with similar issue, you might find the post quite helpful.

I will do whatever is in my power to recover, but I don’t know how long this is going to take.

I am not in a happy place right now, I wasn’t able to work, participate in many social events and I am just sad.

I am sad and tired…. and as shallow as that sounds I just want to have my face back to normal.

So, if there is no posts, that means I have not accepted myself…. I am not giving up yet, I will recover with time!

Coat – Lunia Bonder // Dress – Aritzia, similar here on sale // Shirt – Freda’s// Boots – Stuart Weitzman

Till next time, xo


Photo: Fabian Derda


  1. Krzysztof Elzbieta Derda

    o kochanie wszystko będzie dobrze bo masz wsparcie,jesteś silną piękną kobietą.Kochamy Cię bardzo,wiemy że dasz radę.Piękna stylizacja i tak dalej.

  2. Tricia McMaster

    Aw sweetie, sending you hugs and wishing there was something immediate for you. My mom had bells palsy, before that I didn’t know what it was. Nothing you’re saying sounds shallow, it sounds open and honest and how could you not be frustrated? I hope you soon see positive results from the treatments just to help ease your mind, because no matter what you’re beautiful inside and out! xoxo

  3. Kate

    You are amazing woman! You will get the results you want. Stay strong and don’t ever give up. We love your posts and we will support you.

  4. Rose

    You are one of the kindest most loving people ever. So sorry you have to go through this. Sending big hugs and lots of love. Please keep us posted on your progress. You got this girl! ❤❤❤

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